A Wife for Isaac

 2 And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh,  3 that I may make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell,  4  but will go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.”  5 The servant said to him, “Perhaps the woman may not be willing to follow me to this land. Must I then take your son back to the land from which you came?”  6 Abraham said to him, “See to it that you do not take my son back there.  7 The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my kindred, and who spoke to me and swore to me, ‘To your offspring I will give this land,’ he will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there.  8 But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this oath of mine; only you must not take my son back there.” - Genesis 24:2-8 ESV

 

Abraham was now “well advanced in years” (Genesis 24:1). God had promised that, through the son born to his wife Sarah, all the nations of the earth would be blessed. As that son reached a marriageable age, Abraham understood the importance of finding the right wife for him. There were a couple of principles guiding Abraham’s choice of wife for Isaac. Those principles were based on what he understood about God and His revealed purpose.

 

First, Abraham understood that the woman he needed to find for his son had to be one who loved and served his God. He knew that Isaac’s wife could not be a pagan Canaanite who bowed the knee to idols and false gods. The mother of the nation that God promised to Abraham had to be devoted to his God.

 

Second, when Abram left Haran, after the death of his father Terah, he travelled to the region of Canaan. God appeared to him there and told him that He would give his offspring that land.

 

 5 And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother’s son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people that they had acquired in Haran, and they set out to go to the land of Canaan. When they came to the land of Canaan,  6 Abram passed through the land to the place at Shechem, to the oak of Moreh. At that time the Canaanites were in the land.  7 Then the LORD appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” So he built there an altar to the LORD, who had appeared to him. - Genesis 12:5-7 ESV

 

Abraham understood by this that the promise of God would be fulfilled in the land of Canaan, and Isaac needed to live in that region with his wife. Abraham had no understanding of how Isaac and his descendants would acquire that land, but he did have a promise from God that it was set apart for them.

 

With these two principles in mind, Abraham called his oldest and most trusted servant and commissioned him to find a wife for his son. He told him that he was to find that wife among his own family in Mesopotamia. The woman he chose was willing to leave her homeland and come to live with Isaac in the land God had promised. Under no condition was the servant to diverge from either of these conditions. This was so important to Abraham that he made his servant swear by the “Lord, the God of heaven and God of the earth” that he would be true to Abraham’s wishes (see Genesis 24:3).

 

Abraham did not know how God would fulfill His promise, nor did he know the woman God would choose for his son. He started his search, however, with the truth he knew about God, His purpose, and promises to him. Sometimes all we have is the Word of God and what it tells us about God and His purpose for our lives. It is here we must begin, and it is to these principles we must be faithful.

 

At the City Well

Having been commissioned by Abraham to find a wife for his son, Isaac, the servant sets out for Mesopotamia, where Abraham’s family lived. He loaded ten camels with provisions for the trip as well as “all sorts of choice gifts from his master” (Genesis 24:10). Arriving in the city where Abraham’s brother Nahor lived, the servant had his camels kneel down beside a well outside the city. He did this knowing that at this particular time of the day, the young girls of the city would be coming to the well to draw water.

 

Sometimes we don’t find the answer we are looking for because we do not put ourselves in a position where we can find that answer. If you want to catch a fish, you go to the pond. If you want to find a godly Christian husband or wife, you go where men and women of this character gather. This is what Abraham’s servant is doing. He places himself in a situation where God can reveal the answer to him.

 

The One You Appointed

Having stationed himself at the well, the servant then took a moment to pray:

 

 12 And he said, “O LORD, God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and show steadfast love to my master Abraham.  13 Behold, I am standing by the spring of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water.  14 Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘Please let down your jar that I may drink,’ and who shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels’—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master.” - Genesis 24:12-14 ESV

 

We need to see two details in this prayer.

 

First, the servant commits the decision to the Lord. How easy it is to be deceived as human beings. When Samuel was sent to anoint the next king of Israel, he looked at the outward appearance of Jesse’s sons. Listen to what the Lord told him, however.

 

 7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” - 1 Samuel 16:7 ESV

 

Knowing that he needed the Lord’s guidance in finding the right wife for Isaac, Abraham’s servant asked God to grant him success by revealing the woman of His choice. Not only does Abraham’s servant place himself where God can reveal the answer to him, but he commits himself not to be fooled by his own reasoning. If you want to know the direction of God, then you need to get your own ideas and agenda out of the way. We have all met Christians who prayed for God’s leading and then went on to make their own decisions without waiting for His answer.

 

This brings us to the second detail we need to see in this prayer. How was the servant to know the leading of God? In this case, he asked that when the young girls came to the well, and he asked them for a drink, the girl God had chosen for Isaac would not only give him a drink but offer to water his camels as well. Consider this request for a moment.

 

The average camel can drink anywhere from 75-120 liters of water (20-32 gallons). Abraham’s servant had ten camels. If we allow for the minimum these ten camels could drink, this means that this girl would have to draw 750 liters or 200 gallons of water for these camels. The servant’s request was significant. Not just any girl, rushing home with water for the evening meal, would be willing to make such a commitment.

 

Notice what happened, however. A young woman by the name of Rebekah arrived at the well. When the servant asked for water, she responded:

 

 18 She said, “Drink, my lord.” And she quickly let down her jar upon her hand and gave him a drink.  19 When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking.” - Genesis 24:18-19 ESV

 

Rebekah offered to draw water for the camels “until they had finished drinking.” In other words, she would provide them with all the water they required and would not stop drawing water until they were satisfied. You would have thought that this response would have been enough, but note what Abraham’s servant does:

 

 21 The man gazed at her in silence to learn whether the LORD had prospered his journey or not. - Genesis 24:21 ESV

 

Abraham’s servant did not see this as an answer from God until Rebekah had completed what she said she would do. He was not looking for words, but action. He silently watched until the last camel pulled its mouth out of the trough, satisfied. Only then did he accept this as the answer he had requested from God and commit himself to pursuing the matter further. Understand that this sign was not the final confirmation the servant needed. It was not intended to be such. Its purpose was to give him a direction to follow. There were important questions to answer before Rebakah could be confirmed as God’s choice of wife for Isaac. All too many people have been deceived because they never confirmed the signs they received to be assured they are from God.

 

Confirming the Sign

God gave Abraham’s servant the sign he asked for, but that sign needed to be confirmed in three important ways before he knew if Rebekah was the wife for Isaac.

 

First, the servant needed to know if she was from Abraham’s kindred. This was Abraham’s first requirement.

 

 4  … go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” - Genesis 24:4 ESV

 

When the servant saw that Rebekah watered his camels, he had the confidence to take matters a step further. He approached her and asked her about her family. She informed him that she was the daughter of Bethuel, the son of Nahor. Nahor was Abraham’s brother. Notice the servant’s response upon hearing this:

 

 26  The man bowed his head and worshiped the LORD - Genesis 24:26 ESV

 

You can sense the excitement in the servant’s heart as he watches the Lord unfold His purpose. The woman’s family line was confirmed, but there were two other matters needing attention before he could be sure she was the woman God had for his master’s son.

 

The second confirmation was to come from Rebekah’s family. They needed to approve a marriage between their daughter and Abraham’s son. The servant asked Rebekah if her family could offer him hospitality. She assured him they had straw for his camels and plenty of room for him to stay.

 

Arriving at her home, the servant wasted no time informing the family of the purpose of his trip. He told them he was Abraham’s servant and had come looking for a wife for his master’s son. He went on to explain how he had asked God for a sign and what Rebekah did that confirmed that sign to him. Upon hearing this, Rebekah’s father and brother responded:

 

 50 … “The thing has come from the LORD; we cannot speak to you bad or good.  51 Behold, Rebekah is before you; take her and go, and let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the LORD has spoken.” - Genesis 24:50-51 ESV

 

They were convinced the Lord was revealing His will for Rebekah to marry Abraham’s son, Isaac. and agreed to the marriage.

 

The final confirmation had to come from Rebekah herself. Abraham told his servant that the future wife of Isaac needed to leave her family and move to Canaan, the land God had promised to his descendants. Calling Rebekah into their presence, her mother and father asked her if she would be willing to go with Abraham’s servant to be Isaac’s wife. Without hesitation, Rebekah consented to go. This was the final confirmation needed to fulfill all the requirements Abraham had given him. With that final confirmation in place, the servant took Rebekah and, without delay, returned to Canaan with her and presented her to Isaac. Genesis 24:67 tells us that Isaac loved Rebekah and took her as his wife.

 

Discerning the Leading of God

What do we learn here from Abraham and his servant about discerning the will of the Lord? Let’s break it down by way of summary.

 

Begin With the Purpose and Promises of God

 

If we are to discern the will and purpose of God, we must begin with our understanding of His purpose and promises. When God promised to bless the nations through Abraham’s line, He rejected his Egyptian slave Hagar as the mother, choosing instead his wife Sarah, who was from Abraham’s kindred. By this, Abraham understood that the purpose of God was to be accomplished through his family only and not through the pagan nations around him. He insisted, therefore, that Isaac’s wife be from his own family.

 

When God promised to give Abraham’s offspring the land of Canaan, Abraham knew that the fulfillment of the promise needed to take place in that land, and Isaac’s future wife needed to leave her family and live with him in that region. Abraham began with what he knew about God’s purpose and promises.

 

Today God’s purpose and promises are recorded for us in the pages of Holy Scripture. It is here that we must begin. God will lead us according to the principles He has revealed in those pages. He will never lead us contrary to His own Word.

 

 

Place Yourself Where God Can Show You His Purpose

 

Understanding the purpose and promise of God to Abraham, the servant was able then to determine that he needed to go to Mesopotamia, where Abraham’s family lived. When he arrived, he positioned himself where he knew the women of the region would come to draw water. If you want to know if God is calling you to the mission field, go where you can meet missionaries and talk to them. If you want to know the Lord Jesus, go where you can hear about him and meet people who know Him.

 

 

Leave the Decision With the Lord

 

It never ceases to surprise me that we say we want the Lord’s will but when we see what we want we quickly grab it without waiting to hear from God. What we want and what God wants are not always the same. We can be easily deceived. Satan will make the path to destruction look appealing. Don’t fall for his tricks. It is God’s will you are seeking to discern, so let Him make that clear to you. I have always been amazed at how the early church cast lots when they wanted to make an important decision. In my mind, this was not logical. Who says, however, that human logic is the best way to determine the will of God? Listen to Proverbs 3:5-6:

 

 5  Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

 6 In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

 

The command is clear. Do not lean on your own understanding. Acknowledge God, and He will make the path straight and clear. How He will make that path clear to you, I cannot say. He speaks in so many different ways. What is important is that we wait on Him, be sensitive to His direction and leading, and submit to what He shows us.

 

 

Confirm the Final Decision With What You Know to be the Purpose and Promise of God

 

When you sense God is leading you in a certain direction, take the time to confirm what you are sensing with the purpose and promises of God. Abraham’s servant asked about Rebekah’s family, sought permission from her parents, and consulted her about her willingness to leave Mesopotamia to travel with him to Canaan. If any one of these checks failed to be in tune with the purpose or promise God made to Abraham, the servant would know that Rebekah was not the wife for Isaac. If what you think God is asking you to do does not agree fully with His revealed purpose and the promises of Scripture, you can be sure that you have misunderstood what He is saying. God will not lead you contrary to His revealed will and purpose.

 

 

Act on What Has Been Revealed to You

 

When you have confirmed what you believe to be the will of God, act on it. Abraham’s servant wasted no time when he had confirmed the purpose of God. He eagerly departed, without delay, and brought Rebekah back to Isaac. God reveals His purpose, but it is for us to act on what He has revealed. To know the will of God and not to act on it is to sin against God.