Genesis 13:3-14 - Resolving Strife

Can We Support Those Who Make Bad Decisions?

8 Then Abram said to Lot, “Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen. 9  Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left.”  10 And Lot lifted up his eyes and saw that the Jordan Valley was well watered everywhere like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, in the direction of Zoar. (This was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.)  11 So Lot chose for himself all the Jordan Valley, and Lot journeyed east. Thus, they separated from each other. 12 Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled among the cities of the valley and moved his tent as far as Sodom. 13 Now the men of Sodom were wicked, great sinners against the LORD. - Genesis 13:8-13 ESV

Our story begins in the land of Babylon. There in the city of Ur lived a man by the name of Terah. He had three sons (Abram, Nahor and Haran). His son Haran died in Ur, leaving behind a grandson by the name of Lot. We are not told why, but for some reason Terah decided to leave Ur and settle in the region of Canaan. By this time, his son Abram had married Sarai. Terah took Abram, Sarai, and his grandson Lot with him and together they set out for a new life in Canaan.

This small group of immigrants did not reach Canaan. Terah decided to settle in the region of Haran, likely in modern day Syria. The passage does not tell us why they did not continue to Canaan but Genesis 11:32 tells us that Terah would die in Haran at the age of 205. It may be that the trip was simply too much for him in his old age.

As we come to Genesis 12, we read that after Terah’s death, God appeared to Abram and told him to leave Haran and travel to a place He would show him. At the age of seventy-five, Abram left Haran, taking his wife and his brother’s son Lot and set out for the land of Canaan (Genesis 12:5). When they reached Canaan, the Lord told Abram that He would give this land to his offspring:

5 … When they came to the land of Canaan, 6 Abram passed through the land to the place at Shechem, to the oak of Moreh. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. 7 Then the LORD appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” So, he built there an altar to the LORD, who had appeared to him. - Genesis 12:5-7 ESV

After hearing this promise, Abram continued his journey southward to the region of Bethel where he would pitch his tent (Genesis 12:8). While a famine drove him to Egypt for some time, Abram would return to Bethel where he would settle with his nephew Lot and raise sheep.

We are not sure how old Lot is by this time. Clearly, however, he has grown up. Genesis 13:5 tells us:

5 And Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents, 6 so that the land could not support both of them dwelling together; for their possessions were so great that they could not dwell together – Genesis 13:5-6 ESV

Lot prospered with Abram. Now, as a grown man, he had his own flock of sheep. Verse 7 tells us that Lot also hired herdsmen to help with his sheep. It is uncertain if he was married at this time.

While Abram and Lot seemed to get along well, a problem arose between their herdsmen. This came about because of the size of their herds and the limited land available to them.

7 and there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram’s livestock and the herdsmen of Lot’s livestock. At that time the Canaanites and the Perizzites were dwelling in the land. Genesis 13:7 ESV

Observe here that the issue appears to revolve around the fact that the Canaanites and Perizzites were dwelling in the land. Their large herd needed vast pasturelands but the Canaanites and Perizzites were living in those lands, and they would not have been keen to surrender their land so that Abram and Lot could have space for their flock. This meant that Lot’s herdsmen and Abram’s herdsmen were competing for space for their sheep and this was creating conflict between them. Some important decisions had to be made.

As they seek to resolve this conflict between their herdsmen, Abram and Lot are aware of one indisputable fact –they were kinsmen.

 8 Then Abram said to Lot, “Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen. - Genesis 13:8 ESV

Lot was Abram’s nephew and grew up with Abram and Terah caring for him. This is not something they were willing to throw away. We have all watched families fall apart over a disagreement that could have been easily resolved. We have seen churches divide over matters that should have been settled. I admit that this is not always possible, but family, friendships and relationships are very precious and often of greater value than any differences we may experience between us. Abram and Lot began with a commitment to guard their relationship and not let anything come between them.

Note secondly that Abram and Lot decided to put some friendly space between themselves so that they could individually fulfil the purpose of God for their lives. God had a different plan for these two men. Two sons would be born to Lot. The first would become the father of the Moabites. The descendants of the second would become the Ammonites (see Genesis 19:36-38). Abram, on the other hand, would give birth to the Israelite nation. Abram and Lot had been together for many years. They had immigrated from Ur and had shared many life experiences. Everything was now going to change. Lot would strike out on his own. Abram had to let that happen. He could not hold on to the way things had always been. Doing so would not only restrict Lot but hinder the purpose of God for Abram. As difficult as it may have been for them, Abram and Lot had to surrender to God’s ultimate purpose and accept that that purpose would not be fulfilled together.

Notice how Abram resolves this matter in verse 9:

9 Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left. - Genesis 13:9 ESV

Abram gives Lot his freedom. He tells him to take his flock and herdsmen and move out on his own. He gives him the freedom to choose where he wants to go. Lot seemed to be quite happy with this new freedom to strike out on his own. This was an important decision and so he chose a land that was well watered and fertile – the Jordan Valley and pitched his tent in the region of Sodom. Genesis 13:13 tells us something about the people of Sodom:

13 Now the men of Sodom were wicked, great sinners against the LORD. - Genesis 13:13 ESV

The Jordan Valley may have been fertile, but its inhabitants were ungodly sinners. This is where Lot would raise his family. Lot was raised in a godly family, but he seems to turn his back on that now as he strikes out on his own. His children, wife and future sons-in-law grew up not knowing the God of his uncle Abram.

By the time we come to Genesis 19 we find Lot sitting at the gate of Sodom. Often city leaders would sit at the gate and conduct business. What is interesting to note here is that Lot does not seem to have opted for country living in that fertile Jordan Valley but chose to settle in the city. We saw him sitting at the city gate in Genesis 19:1. Listen to the words of the angels of God who came to destroy the city of Sodom:

 12 Then the men said to Lot, “Have you anyone else here? Sons-in-law, sons, daughters, or anyone you have in the city, bring them out of the place. - Genesis 19:12 ESV

Lot’s sons-in-law and daughters were living in the city of Sodom. Verse 15 underscores this idea when the angels urged Lot to take his wife and daughters away from the city so they could destroy it:

 15 As morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Up! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be swept away in the punishment of the city.” - Genesis 19:15 ESV

It seems then that Lot opted for city life when he moved into the region of Sodom. He lived in a city so evil, the Lord determined to destroy it. In the end, Lot lost his wife in the judgment of Sodom. His family line was perpetuated through an incestuous relationship with his two daughters when he was drunk with wine. His descendants, the Moabites and the Ammonites never claimed the God of Israel. Lot’s decision took him and his family down a very different road from that of Abram.

What is interesting to note here is the while Lot chose a different path from Abram, Abram never abandoned the kinship bond he had with him. When Sodom was attacked by a coalition of kings and Lot’s family captured in Genesis 14, Abram risked his life, took 318 men, pursued these kings, and rescued his nephew. When three angels announced to Abram in Genesis 18 that they were going to destroy Sodom, he interceded long and hard for the city, knowing that his nephew lived there.

The passage shows us that conflicts will arise even in the most loving relationships. This story shows, however, several important points we need to keep in mind.

Relationships are Important

Abram shows us that his relationship with Lot was important to him. When there was conflict between herdsmen, Abram did what he could to resolve it in a way that supported a good relationship with his nephew. When Lot chose a different path, Abram still fought for him and pleaded his case before God. Our children, friends or family may not walk as we do but they are our kinsmen, and we are called to stand with them in their times of need.

Accept God’s Sovereign Purpose

Note that Abram came to the realization that Lot and he had to put some space between them if they were going to keep a good relationship. This was not something that either of them had necessarily expected. God’s purpose for Lot was not his purpose for Abram. To hold onto what was not intended to be would only hinder both parties. When I was pastor in Mauritius, trying to decide if I was to return to the church or not, I read a phrase in a newsletter that said: “How often has the work of God been hindered by well-meaning servants who have simply stayed too long.” I came to realize that as much as I loved those people, God was taking me elsewhere. Abram and Lot needed to surrender to the sovereign purpose of God for their lives. In resolving any issue, God’s purpose must overrule my preferences.

Free Will is a Gift Given by God

Abram, recognizing the need to let Lot go, gave him the choice of where he would settle. This is a fearful thing for any parent watching their children leave home for the first time. There are times we wish we could control every aspect of the decisions those children make. Understand, however, that God has given each of us the freedom of choice. Abram watched Lot leave his home and travel to the Jordan Valley and settle in the most evil city in the region. There comes a point in time, however, when we must let people make their decisions and experience the consequences of those decisions. God gives us the freedom to choose. We must grant that same privilege to our friends and loved ones all the while trusting God to work out His purpose.

Lot’s Decision did not Diminish Abram’s Concern and Support

Lot’s decision to move to Sodom, would ultimately lead to great trouble in his life and the lives of his family members. While Abram had to give him the freedom to choose that lifestyle, it did not diminish Abram’s deep concern for him. He risked his life pursuing the coalition of kings that had captured Lot. He pleaded with the angels of God to spare the city and ultimately to spare his nephew. God heard that prayer. Lot’s decision would prove to be a bad one, but one thing was certain. Despite his foolishness, he knew the support of his uncle to the end.



Do you have loved ones in Lot’s position? May God, give you grace to stand with them and petition heaven on their behalf. May the Father in heaven hear your plea and spare their lives.